Soap is not a condiment
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
