and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
