Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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