You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
