i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
