I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
