break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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