**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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