a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
