He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
