So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
