he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
