I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
