This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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