your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
