The maid of honor just puked.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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