Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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