we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
