got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I understand Curling. That high.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
