Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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