I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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