May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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