love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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