so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
