Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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