Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
