She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
