I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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