Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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