Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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