Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Even my vagina gasped.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
