Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
