I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
