I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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