so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
