I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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