But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
