dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
