i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You are a genius and a whore.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
