My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
