Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
