I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
