I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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