didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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