I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
