Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
