He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
FUCK WHALES
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
