2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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