I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
