You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize